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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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People start gatherin’, and I’m givin’ haircuts like it’s a street festival. I’m laughin’, they’re laughin’, and for a moment, Sligo feels like one big happy family. I even spot a few familiar faces from the market. “Hey, it’s the bread guy!” I shout. He’s like, “You’re cuttin’ hair now?!”

Rossies help Sligo company capture first All-Ireland Inter-firms football title - GAA